A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay,…
cowboy common sense…
A LITTLE COMMON SENSE FROM AN OLD COWBOY … Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled….
wedding party…
At a wedding party recently, someone yelled, “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.” The bartender was crushed to death…
VOTED BEST PICK-UP LINE…
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just…
speeding ticket…
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Yes Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: You don’t have one? Woman: I’ve lost it four times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…then can I see your…
SERIOUSLY, YOU JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS KIND OF STUFF UP!!! continued
You know how the infamous “THEY” say that there’s nothing new under the sun? Turns out they were wrong. Case in point: the newly opened Modern Toilet Diner in the Shilin district in Taipei that features a toilet theme. Yes, you read that correctly, and no, we’re not making it up. It’s the real deal….
SERIOUSLY, YOU JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS KIND OF STUFF UP!!!
The utter stupidity of some people truly amaze me. Then again I have to wonder if some thought wasn’t put into play just to capture anyone’s attention, whether it be positive or negative. A man having purchased his very first boat and now taking it to the lake wasn’t quite sure just what the correct…
What in the world do you do ALL day?!?!?
A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around the garden. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog anywhere…
Just Filling In…
A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor that was an atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked everyone by walking into class, looking up and stating “God, if you are real, I want you to come down and knock…
Creating a Password: boiled cabbage
CREATING A PASSWORD cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. boiledcabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case…
what a hoot!!!
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb…
who died before they collected Social Security?
(author unknown) REPEAT? IF SO, PLEASE READ AGAIN… The reference to Social Security and Medicare as an entitlement is offensive to me. It is my employer and I who put the money into those forced government programs. I had no choice. Where does a scheme like that become an entitlement? This is such a misleading…
An apology letter to Mr. Obama….from the Matt Walsh blog
Dear President Obama, I’m reaching out to you as a friend. I know you must be deeply hurting after what happened at the Missouri State Fair. Sure, you probably try to avoid watching the news while you’re on vacation, but I’m sure the pilot who airlifted your dog to your rental mansion in Martha’s Vineyard…
are WE the ones who are aging, or are they just stupid???
ONE….. Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’…
when you are over 60… who gives a shit… !
This real arsehole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Blue?” I said, “There’s a fucking tap underneath, taste it.” ***** I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut,…
the DEA agent and the rancher
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher said, “Okay, but don’t go into that field over there…” as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, “Look…
Why didn’t the Yanks think of this???
A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan. He’s making land mines that look like prayer mats. It’s doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof.
LETVENT.COM 
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