Does This AD Describe You?

Guy Posts A Craigslist Ad Looking For A Like-Minded Woman, And He Nailed It. I’m looking for and need an unstable woman for a drama filled relationship… Hi there, I’m seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3 to 9 month relationship, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings. My name is…

20 genuinely awesome date ideas

20 Genuinely Awesome Date Ideas That Everyone Should Totally Try. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing. Pretend you’ve never met, then loudly try out lame pickup lines in a swanky bar. Act like…

A Father’s Words of Wisdom

Your Father Probably Told You A Few Things, But Just In Case He Wasn’t Around Enough, Here Are Some Words Of Wisdom You Might Have Missed Out On:   Go for women you perceive to be “out of your league.” You’ll surprise yourself. Never have sex with anyone that doesn’t want it as much as…

“Cattle Guards”

Cattle Guards or Texas Gates as called by Texans….. YA GOTTA LAUGH TO KEEP FROM CRYING!!! These two, Obama and Biden, are morons and are an embarrassment to the USA! Can you believe it? Biden asks for 6 months of retraining for ‘Cattle Guards!’ You will love this one, I haven’t stopped laughing yet. NOTE:…

If World War One Was A Bar Fight…

GERMANY, AUSTRIA and ITALY are standing together in the middle of a pub when SERBIA bumps into AUSTRIA and spills AUSTRIA‘s pint. AUSTRIA demands SERBIA buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg. GERMANY expresses its support for AUSTRIA‘s point of view. BRITAIN recommends that everyone calm…

Actual Announcements Made by Flight Attendants

14 Actual Announcements Made By Flight Attendants. Someone Should Give Them A Medal. “To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.” “Ladies and…

The History of Aprons

I don’t think our kids know what an apron is. The principle use of Grandma’s apron was to protect the dress underneath, because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses, plus aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for…

Just Filling In…

A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor that was an atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked everyone by walking into class, looking up and stating “God, if you are real, I want you to come down and knock…

who died before they collected Social Security?

(author unknown) REPEAT? IF SO, PLEASE READ AGAIN… The reference to Social Security and Medicare as an entitlement is offensive to me. It is my employer and I who put the money into those forced government programs. I had no choice. Where does a scheme like that become an entitlement? This is such a misleading…

2 cows

TWO COWS ~ [Matthias Varga] SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots…