speeding ticket…


Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Yes Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: You don’t have one?

Woman: I’ve lost it four times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…then can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that either.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: You stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You did what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up.

Within minutes five police cars circle the car.

A senior officer slowly approaches, clasping his half drawn gun.

Senior officer: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Senior officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Senior officer: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Senior officer: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes sir, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Senior officer: My officer also claims that you do not have a drivers license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license.

He looks quite puzzled.

Senior officer: Thank you ma’am, the officer that radioed told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner and had his remains stowed in the trunk inside plastic bags.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.