A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just…
Tag: woman
speeding ticket…
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Yes Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: You don’t have one? Woman: I’ve lost it four times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…then can I see your…
woman’s vs man’s poem 2
A woman needs a man… – a poem by Michael Leunig A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle; A man needs a sushi when a woman is an icicle; A man needs a car to zip across town To order a tuna and gobble it down. The tuna needs cars to…
woman’s vs man’s poem
WOMAN’S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep, One who’s handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won’t be…
How to make a man/woman HAPPY!
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Feed him 2. Sleep with him 3. Leave him with peace 4. Don’t check his phone (Msgs) 5. Don’t bother him with his movements So whats so hard about that ? HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY It’s really not too difficult but…. To make a woman happy,…
Love Story #161
A woman comes home and finds her husband in bed with a female midget. Furious, she screams, “You promised you wouldn’t cheat again….!” The husband replies, “For Pete’s sake, can’t you see I’m trying to cut down?”
The 11th Husband of a Virgin
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to “Please be gentle; I’m still a Virgin“. “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to…
When a woman wears a leather dress…
Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man’s heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally!? Ever wonder why? It’s because she smells like a new Truck.
3 good arguments that…
GOD ALWAYS ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH! There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother 2. He liked Gospel 3. He didn’t get a fair trial But then, there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father’s business 2. He lived at home…
Blonde Joke of the Day…..
A blonde phone call to Mom: “Hi Mom, it’s me.” “Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the hardware store looking for a drill.” “Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they’ve let me make one phone call and that’s why I’m calling you.” “Oh my god, what happened?” “Oh, I…
Italian Women…
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian woman walking a dog on a…
Husband, Wife & a Convict…
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of…
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