Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box with Call of Duty and an iPhone 6 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, Timmy…
Tag: funny
Holiday Humor…
A compilation of short holiday vids to tickle your funny bone. Winter is Here! Thanks Snow!!! The Italian Christmas Gift Under the Mistletoe Sexy Santa striptease signs that you may be shopping in Texas
an engineer’s perspective of Christmas
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census)…
Classic Movies Redone…
The Treasure of Sierra Madre “Birth certificates? We don’t need no stinkin’ birth certificates!” The Wizard of Oz “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Chicago anymore.” Gone With The Wind “Frankly America I don’t give a damn.” Bonnie & Clyde “We nationalize banks.” The Godfather “I’m gonna make them a bailout offer they can’t refuse.”…
COLORED BOOBS
Black woman with one white boob and one black boob. This is so bad I had to post it for those certain individuals whom I think can handle it . I HOPE you can take it!!! Unbelievable! Photo of a woman with two different colored boobs! I knew you’d love it! …
welfare recipients…
Now, don’t tell me that welfare recipients aren’t innovative! No reason to stand on your feet waiting for the counter to open up to get your check. Just put your flip-flops next in line and go back, sit on your butt and play games on your iPhone.
Do you know about the human body?
When the fertilized egg in the womb begins to multiply it’s cells, it forms a ball of cells called (blastula), which then folds in on itself to become a gastrula. there’s an opening at one end, and that begins to pinch together and close up, forming your very first body part — your anus. So,…
are you absolutely sure?
Why beer is better than a woman… 1. Beer is always wet. 2. Frigid beer is good beer. 3. Beer never gets a headache. 4. Beer always goes down easily. 5. You can share a beer with all your friends. 6. You don’t have to wine and dine beer. 7. You can enjoy beer every…
Wales
I was in a pub last night and saw three “women of size” (as PC now requires us to say) by the bar. They both spoke with a brogue accent, and making assumptions about their origins I asked, “Hello, are you ladies from IRELAND?” One of them angrily screamed, “It’s WALES you fu****g idiot, Wales!”…
Norma Findlay
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay,…
cowboy common sense…
A LITTLE COMMON SENSE FROM AN OLD COWBOY … Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled….
wedding party…
At a wedding party recently, someone yelled, “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.” The bartender was crushed to death…
VOTED BEST PICK-UP LINE…
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just…
speeding ticket…
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Yes Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: You don’t have one? Woman: I’ve lost it four times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…then can I see your…
SERIOUSLY, YOU JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS KIND OF STUFF UP!!! continued
You know how the infamous “THEY” say that there’s nothing new under the sun? Turns out they were wrong. Case in point: the newly opened Modern Toilet Diner in the Shilin district in Taipei that features a toilet theme. Yes, you read that correctly, and no, we’re not making it up. It’s the real deal….
SERIOUSLY, YOU JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS KIND OF STUFF UP!!!
The utter stupidity of some people truly amaze me. Then again I have to wonder if some thought wasn’t put into play just to capture anyone’s attention, whether it be positive or negative. A man having purchased his very first boat and now taking it to the lake wasn’t quite sure just what the correct…
What in the world do you do ALL day?!?!?
A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around the garden. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog anywhere…
Just Filling In…
A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor that was an atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked everyone by walking into class, looking up and stating “God, if you are real, I want you to come down and knock…
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