At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point. The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa! Who knew? One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer either.
There’s a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I’ve been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
A buddy of mine has just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said “Her brother’s got a mustache.”
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, “I can’t wait for the new 911 to arrive!” Next thing I know 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular porn, you sick bastard.”
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.