A woman needs a man… – a poem by Michael Leunig
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle;
A man needs a sushi when a woman is an icicle;
A man needs a car to zip across town
To order a tuna and gobble it down.
The tuna needs cars to be partially banned
And bicycles reintroduced to the land;
A person would need to be radically pushy
To pedal for miles in the rain for a sushi;
Better to stay home with noodles for dinner;
The man and the tuna would both be the winner.

The world needs to get itself out of a pickle;
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

An English professor wrote the words:
“A woman without her man is nothing”
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
All the females in the class wrote:
“A woman, without her, man is nothing.”

MAN vs. WOMAN
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before and after marriage.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance,
while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

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