Wales

I was in a pub last night and saw three “women of size” (as PC now requires us to say) by the bar. They both spoke with a brogue accent, and making assumptions about their origins I asked, “Hello, are you ladies from IRELAND?” One of them angrily screamed, “It’s WALES you fu****g idiot, Wales!”…

VOTED BEST PICK-UP LINE…

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just…

woman’s vs man’s poem 2

A woman needs a man… – a poem by Michael Leunig A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle; A man needs a sushi when a woman is an icicle; A man needs a car to zip across town To order a tuna and gobble it down. The tuna needs cars to…

woman’s vs man’s poem

WOMAN’S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep, One who’s handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won’t be…

Old Guys…

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend: “That’s us in 10 years.” He said, “That’s a mirror, dip-stick!”

A Touching Christmas Story…

A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had “disappeared”. The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cell phone and demanded: “Where the hell are you?” Husband: “Darling, you remember that jewelery shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally…