A Pastor Goes to the Dentist

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sabbath after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sabbath, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sabbath, he talks for two hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get…

Are You Serious? 2

[9.] I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”…

Are You Serious?

I hope that these are jokes, but unfortunately, I seriously doubt it! The really, REALLY scary thing is that some are elected representatives and –eeeeewwww– WE put them in office. A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of ‘why’ our country is in trouble: [1.] I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask…

Mandlebrot Fractals

MANDELBROT FRACTALS For when dividing by zero just isn’t trippy enough. ‘Fractal’ mathematician Benoit Mandelbrot dies aged 85 17 October 2010 | BBC News Europe Benoit Mandelbrot, who discovered mathematical shapes known as fractals, has died of cancer at the age of 85. Mandelbrot, who had joint French and US nationality, developed fractals as a…

photos of irony…III

EVENINGS AT 7 IN THE PARRISH HALL MON     ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS TUE     ABUSED SPOUSES WED     EATING DISORDERS THU     SAY NO TO DRUGS FRI     TEEN SUICIDE WATCH SAT     SOUP KITCHEN SUNDAY     SERMON 9 A.M. “AMERICA’S JOYOUS FUTURE” Psychic Fair Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE: FISH OF THE DAY BEEF ILLITERATE? WRITE FOR FREE HELP. ILLITERACY…

photos of irony…II

NO SMOKING ON THESE PREMISES LANE CLOSED TO EASE CONGESTION Phone out of service? Give us a call. PACIFIC BELL African American Museum —–> <—– Sedgwick County Jail |1|  |2|  |3|

rough times!

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. GOVT AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them. RANCHER: Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for…

what a Ferrari can do…

Ask the man who owns one! A question that is often asked of someone with a new car is “what will it do?” The answer is usually something like “zero to 60 in 5.3 seconds,” or something along those lines. Well, here’s the brand new 2011  Ferrari “458 Italia.” First, here’s what it looks like:…

Who’s minding the store? 2

*ANAL FANTASY We All Sin* Together WINNIE THE POOH & TIGGER INSIDE & OUT butt***** closure Didn’t I F*** You Yesterday? |1|  |2|

Who’s minding the store?

Little Ho*** on the Prairie *urine EAR Drops COOKING **** YOUR DOG Tasty, healthy and safe recipes POO* PARADISE P**’enis BE*GAY |1|  |2|

The ravaging effects of alcohol…

…after too many margaritas! …after 7 rum and cokes! …after 6 beers! …after 3 martinis! …after 3 kamikazes! …after 2 glasses of wine! …after 2 bottles of wine, (shared of course)! …after 1 large purple haze! …after 1 bottle of tequila! [featured image: Zhora – chimpanzee at a Russian zoo – is an alcoholic and…

Got a new dog…

We got a new guard dog to guard my house. He was a little more than I thought I should pay. But, I think when word gets out, we’ll be a relatively crime-free neighborhood. The nice part is he is only a year old and already fully trained. For your safety, you might want to…

Man’s Survival Guide (continued)

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. Third Date: You get to pay her rent. Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you. First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and…

Man’s Survival Guide

This could be used as an excellent educational tool. Let’s call it a “Man’s Survival Guide“ First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit. Third date: You get to have sex but only when she wants to and only in the missionary…

Finally!….Solid Proof

I know that the world is NOT going to end in 2012 because Marty McFly travelled to 2015 Finally Solid Proof

When a woman wears a leather dress…

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man’s heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally!? Ever wonder why? It’s because she smells like a new Truck.

Where did the Texas Longhorns logo idea come from?

You will understand better about the Texas Longhorns……. I have always been fascinated by football trivia and I thought you might be interested in this bit of trivia as well. Where did the Texas Longhorn logo idea come from? I did not know this!!! Did you??? My duty of teaching you something new every day…