There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census)…
Tag: Christian
British papers show no mercy
British papers are quite different from ours. They know what is going on and are not afraid to say it. MR. PRESIDENT, WE’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE 60% OF AMERICANS WHO DON’T BELIEVE YOU’RE A CHRISTIAN! CAN WE BEHEAD THEM? UH-OH. MICHELLE, THESE ARE TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES! DID YOU REALLY NEED TO BLOW…
Are You a Christian?
Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son? Student: Yes, sir. Professor: So, you believe in GOD? Student: Absolutely, sir. Professor: Is GOD good? Student: Sure. Professor: Is GOD all powerful? Student: Yes. Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help…
Church Signs with a Sense of Humor 3
YOU MAY PARTY IN HELL BUT YOU WILL BE THE BARBQUE! IF YOU STILL BELIEVE THAT 200 MILLION PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FLY UP TO HEAVEN AND MEET JESUS WHY NOT BEAT THE TRAFFIC AND KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW? GOD’S LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL AS LONG AS YOU ARE OBEYING CHRIST. WRINKLED WITH BURDENS? COME TO…
Church Signs with a Sense of Humor 2
CHURCH PARKING TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTISED “WHO’S YOUR DADDY?” WHOEVER IS PRAYING FOR SNOW PLEASE STOP TO BE ALMOST SAVED IS TO BE TOTALLY LOST HOW DO WE MAKE HOLY WATER? WE BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT! WHAT IS MISSING FROM CH CH U R EVERY DAY ABOVE GROUND IS A GOOD ONE…
Church Signs with a Sense of Humor
Adam blamed Eve Eve blamed the snake and the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on KEEP USING MY NAME IN VAIN I’LL MAKE RUSH HOUR LONGER -GOD THERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS THAT CAN’T BE ANSWERED BY GOOGLE HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS TEXT WHILE DRIVING IF YOU WANT TO MEET HIM THOU SHALL…
Paraprosdokian:
Paraprosdokian: Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation. ‘Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,’ is a type of paraprosdokian. * I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So…
Bill Cosby – “I’m 83 and Tired”
I’ve worked hard since I was 17. Except for when I was doing my National Service, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn’t call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy,…
The Cross in Our Bodies.
This is a pretty neat story and an interesting thing that few of us know. It’s brief, so do make an effort to read it. (FROM A DOCTOR) A couple of days ago I was running (I use that term very loosely) on my treadmill, watching a DVD sermon by Louie Giglio… And I was…
Blonde in Church…..
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, ‘Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to…
An Atheist in the Woods
An atheist was walking through the woods. ‘What majestic trees’! ‘What powerful rivers’! ‘What beautiful animals’! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him… He ran as fast as he…
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