Why It’s Impossible To Have A Christmas Party In 2014

December 1…To All employees I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas party will be held on December 23rd at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols…feel free to sing-along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa…

Santa pick-up lines

“I’ll make you shake like a bowl full of jelly.” “When was the last time you did it in a sleigh?” “I put the ‘scroo’ in Scrooge.” “Ever make it with a fat guy, with a whip?” “I’ve got something you can hang a wreath on.” “One hour with me and you’ll see flyin’ reindeer!”…

angry Christmas letter to Santa

Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box with Call of Duty and an iPhone 6 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, Timmy…

an engineer’s perspective of Christmas

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census)…