What British People Say vs What They Mean At Christmas

What they say: [What they mean:] Hooray! Father Christmas has been here! [FFS. It’s only 5am.] Would anyone like a drink? [I don’t care that it’s 8am, I need alcohol in my system NOW.] Oh, you really shouldn’t have! [No, you REALLY shouldn’t have!] I love it. Thank you! [I hope you kept the receipt.]…

when you are over 60… who gives a shit… !

This real arsehole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Blue?” I said, “There’s a fucking tap underneath, taste it.” ***** I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut,…

Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If…