This real arsehole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Blue?” I said, “There’s a fucking tap underneath, taste it.” ***** I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut,…
Tag: friends
Do You Want to be a Mermaid or a Whale?
I didn’t write this but absolutely love what this woman wrote. So well done! Please read; it’s quite enjoyable and please feel free to share. ♥ A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to…
Car Accident
Good morning friends, I had an accident last night and the doctors thought I broke my hip but the x-ray shows I will be OK. Take a look at the attached x-ray. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for the next few days as I recover. God Bless.
The $50.00 Lesson
I recently asked my friends’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United States. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So I asked her, “If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?” She replied,…
Dalai Lama’s Status
The purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others. How much am I doing about my anger, attachment, hatred, pride and jealousy? These are the things which we must check in our daily lives. ~ Dalai Lama ~ The ultimate source of a happy life is warm-heartedness. This means extending to others…
Thank You America!
Dear American Taxpayer, For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain. My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time….
Hitman on the Golf Course…
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, ‘Do you mind if I join you, my partner didn’t turn up?’ ‘Sure,’ they said, ‘You’re welcome.’ So they started playing and enjoyed the game and…
Blonde in Church…..
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, ‘Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to…
older men scam….
Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it. A ‘heads up’ for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe’s, Home Depot, Costco,…
That Awkward Moment…..
Look well at the pictures before you read the captions at the bottom of each! It’s that awkward moment… …when you realize that your friend’s fat arm makes you look naked in the office party photo! …when you’re friend’s arm looks like your ass! …when you build a bridge and there are hundreds of dicks…
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