This real arsehole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, “Is that Corona or Blue?” I said, “There’s a fucking tap underneath, taste it.” ***** I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, “If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut,…
Tag: church
Church can be hilarious!!!
Church signs that will make you laugh! STAYING IN BED SHOUTING, OH GOD ! DOES NOT CONSTITUTE GOING TO CHURCH GOD DOES NOT BELIEVE IN ATHEISTS THEREFORE ATHEISTS DO NOT EXIST FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES – IT MESSES WITH THEIR HEADS FREE COFFEE EVERLASTING LIFE YES MEMBERSHIP HAS ITS PRIVILEGES READ THE BIBLE – IT WILL…
Church Signs with a Sense of Humor 3
YOU MAY PARTY IN HELL BUT YOU WILL BE THE BARBQUE! IF YOU STILL BELIEVE THAT 200 MILLION PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FLY UP TO HEAVEN AND MEET JESUS WHY NOT BEAT THE TRAFFIC AND KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW? GOD’S LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL AS LONG AS YOU ARE OBEYING CHRIST. WRINKLED WITH BURDENS? COME TO…
Church Signs with a Sense of Humor 2
CHURCH PARKING TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTISED “WHO’S YOUR DADDY?” WHOEVER IS PRAYING FOR SNOW PLEASE STOP TO BE ALMOST SAVED IS TO BE TOTALLY LOST HOW DO WE MAKE HOLY WATER? WE BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT! WHAT IS MISSING FROM CH CH U R EVERY DAY ABOVE GROUND IS A GOOD ONE…
Church Signs with a Sense of Humor
Adam blamed Eve Eve blamed the snake and the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on KEEP USING MY NAME IN VAIN I’LL MAKE RUSH HOUR LONGER -GOD THERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS THAT CAN’T BE ANSWERED BY GOOGLE HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS TEXT WHILE DRIVING IF YOU WANT TO MEET HIM THOU SHALL…
A Nativity Scene and shepherd
A Nativity Scene was erected in a church yard. During the night the folks came across this scene. An abandoned dog was looking for a comfortable, protected place to sleep. He chose baby Jesus as his comfort. No one had the heart to send him away so he was there all night. We should all have the good sense…
Bill Cosby – “I’m 83 and Tired”
I’ve worked hard since I was 17. Except for when I was doing my National Service, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn’t call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy,…
No Flu!!!….
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he…
daughter (or son) talk…
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her…
Oops!
LIFE AFTER DEATH “DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?” THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES. “YES, SIR,” THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED. “WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE,” THE BOSS WENT ON. “AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU! ***************************************************** PALM SUNDAY …
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