What British People Say vs What They Mean At Christmas

What they say: [What they mean:] Hooray! Father Christmas has been here! [FFS. It’s only 5am.] Would anyone like a drink? [I don’t care that it’s 8am, I need alcohol in my system NOW.] Oh, you really shouldn’t have! [No, you REALLY shouldn’t have!] I love it. Thank you! [I hope you kept the receipt.]…