What British People Say vs What They Mean At Christmas

What they say: [What they mean:] Hooray! Father Christmas has been here! [FFS. It’s only 5am.] Would anyone like a drink? [I don’t care that it’s 8am, I need alcohol in my system NOW.] Oh, you really shouldn’t have! [No, you REALLY shouldn’t have!] I love it. Thank you! [I hope you kept the receipt.]…

Miracle in the Alcohol Aisle…

Well…well…well, look at this here. Does this look like something you have personally seen out in public? Isn’t it amazing how many vehicles have handicapped plates or placards but the occupants of said vehicles are NOT handicapped? AND A FEW MORE ITEMS OF INTEREST…

Out at 2 A.M.

A Police STOP at 2 A.M. An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 A.M. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as…

The ravaging effects of alcohol…

…after too many margaritas! …after 7 rum and cokes! …after 6 beers! …after 3 martinis! …after 3 kamikazes! …after 2 glasses of wine! …after 2 bottles of wine, (shared of course)! …after 1 large purple haze! …after 1 bottle of tequila! [featured image: Zhora – chimpanzee at a Russian zoo – is an alcoholic and…

My New Primary Care Physician–love him!! (you’ll want him too!!)  

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer?…