A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sabbath after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sabbath, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sabbath, he talks for two hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get…
Category: Images
Are You Serious? 2
[9.] I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”…
Are You Serious?
I hope that these are jokes, but unfortunately, I seriously doubt it! The really, REALLY scary thing is that some are elected representatives and –eeeeewwww– WE put them in office. A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of ‘why’ our country is in trouble: [1.] I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask…
Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a TEXAN?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the…
America’s Hunters!
The world’s largest army…America’s hunters! I had never thought about this… A blogger added up the deer license sales in just a handful of states and arrived at a striking conclusion: There were over 600,000 hunters this season in the state of Wisconsin. Allow me to restate that number: 600,000 Over the last several months,…
Amazing Home Remedies
1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF. 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY…
Achievable Diet Plan
ACHIEVABLE DIET PLAN…(for those of us who really need it, myself included)! Breakfast 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 1 cup skim milk Lunch 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken 1 cup spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 Hershey’s kiss Afternoon Tea The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag 1 tub of…
The 6 Truths of Life….
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You’re smiling now because you’re an idiot 5. You soon will forward this to another idiot. 6. There’s still a stupid smile on your face. Sorry…
Bill Cosby – “I’m 83 and Tired”
I’ve worked hard since I was 17. Except for when I was doing my National Service, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn’t call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy,…
Obama Signs Law…
Obama signs law giving himself, Bush lifetime Secret Service guard By Olivier Knox, Yahoo! News | The Ticket President Barack Obama, accompanied by a Secret Service agent, waves at reporters shouting questions. (Charles Dharapak/AP) Former presidents have to give up rides on Air Force One. But now they don’t have to give up being shadowed…
Finally someone asked Obama the question!
ON “ABC-TV” DURING THE “NETWORK SPECIAL ON HEALTH CARE“…. OBAMA WAS ASKED: “MR. PRESIDENT WILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GIVE UP YOUR CURRENT HEALTH CARE PROGRAM AND JOIN THE NEW ‘UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE PROGRAM’ THAT THE REST OF US WILL BE ON????” THERE WAS A STONEY SILENCE AS OBAMA IGNORED THE QUESTION AND CHOSE NOT…
Mandlebrot Fractals
MANDELBROT FRACTALS For when dividing by zero just isn’t trippy enough. ‘Fractal’ mathematician Benoit Mandelbrot dies aged 85 17 October 2010 | BBC News Europe Benoit Mandelbrot, who discovered mathematical shapes known as fractals, has died of cancer at the age of 85. Mandelbrot, who had joint French and US nationality, developed fractals as a…
photos of irony…III
EVENINGS AT 7 IN THE PARRISH HALL MON ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS TUE ABUSED SPOUSES WED EATING DISORDERS THU SAY NO TO DRUGS FRI TEEN SUICIDE WATCH SAT SOUP KITCHEN SUNDAY SERMON 9 A.M. “AMERICA’S JOYOUS FUTURE” Psychic Fair Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE: FISH OF THE DAY BEEF ILLITERATE? WRITE FOR FREE HELP. ILLITERACY…
photos of irony…II
NO SMOKING ON THESE PREMISES LANE CLOSED TO EASE CONGESTION Phone out of service? Give us a call. PACIFIC BELL African American Museum —–> <—– Sedgwick County Jail |1| |2| |3|
photos of irony…
ALWAYS OPEN CLOSED Health Bar & Eatery Fudge Factory |1| |2| |3|
Warren Buffett Interview.
Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes about the debt ceiling: I could end the deficit in 5 minutes,” he told CNBC. “You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible…
rough times!
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. GOVT AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them. RANCHER: Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for…
Trump Explains…
No one can sum it up better than Trump. Let me get this straight . . . We’re going to be “gifted” with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don’t, which purportedly covers at least ten million more people, without adding a single new doctor, but provides for…
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