20 Things a Father Should Tell His Daughter!

1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you. 2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture. 3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is…

the recession…..

The Recession has hit everybody…… I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEOs are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife. If the bank returns your…

road rage….

So anyway, I’m behind this prick who can’t fucking drive. Weaving all over the place and hasn’t got a fucking clue. I’m roaring, “You fucking Paki bastard, learn to drive!! And while you’re at it, why don’t you fuck off back to your own country you smelly prick.” You know what the cheeky bastard did?…

dog and college…

A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money … he calls home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Missoula that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!” “That’s amazing,”…