are you absolutely sure?

Why beer is better than a woman… 1. Beer is always wet. 2. Frigid beer is good beer. 3. Beer never gets a headache. 4. Beer always goes down easily. 5. You can share a beer with all your friends. 6. You don’t have to wine and dine beer. 7. You can enjoy beer every…

brain cells…

I don’t think I’ve ever heard the concept explained any better than this. Well you see, Norm, it’s like this..A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection…

Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President: During my shift in the Emergency Room last night, I had the pleasure of evaluating a patient whose smile revealed an expensive shiny gold tooth, whose body was adorned with a wide assortment of elaborate and costly tattoos, who wore a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and who chatted on a…

Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If…

Chili Cook-off…

Read slowly. If you pay attention to the comments from the first two judges, the reactions/comments of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a…

The ravaging effects of alcohol…

…after too many margaritas! …after 7 rum and cokes! …after 6 beers! …after 3 martinis! …after 3 kamikazes! …after 2 glasses of wine! …after 2 bottles of wine, (shared of course)! …after 1 large purple haze! …after 1 bottle of tequila! [featured image: Zhora – chimpanzee at a Russian zoo – is an alcoholic and…