Actual Exchanges Between Pilots and Control Towers

TOWER: “TWA 2341, for noise reduction turn right 45 degrees.” TWA 2341: “Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?” TOWER: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?” ************************************************************ FROM AN UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT WAITING IN A VERY LONG TAKEOFF QUEUE: “I’m…

bumperstickers that might start a fight II

ACTUALLY NO ONE OWES YOU CRAP I believe the BEST Social Program is a JOB How will Democrats stand up to terrorists when they can’t even face Fox News? What part of “The Terrorists Want to KILL US” don’t you get moron? Why should I pay for your healthcare? Annoy a Liberal Help Yourself everything…

bumperstickers that might start a fight

WHAT PART OF EUROPE ARE YOU FROM? THE PART WHOSE ASS WE SAVED, OR THE PART WHOSE ASS WE KICKED? “WHEN THE PEOPLE FEAR THEIR GOVERNMENT, THERE IS TYRANNY. WHEN THE GOVERNMENT FEARS THE PEOPLE, THERE IS LIBERTY.” ‘Fairness’ isn’t giving my money to lazy people. Why in the hell should I have to press…

Bill Cosby’s Platform…

Bill Cosby has a great way of “distilling” things. Looks like he’s done it yet again! AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!! HERE IS HIS PLATFORM: (1). Any use of the phrase: ‘Press 1 for English’ is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you…

No Speak English

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken…

Scottish Humor…

New Antiseptic It’s not only the English who have a sense of humor. The Scots do as well! This cartoon originated in Scotland. It looks like most of the world is laughing at our nation’s leadership! How sad that the world is laughing at the United States, while we sit by and watch and wonder…

CURIOUS!!!

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese. However, less widely known is: Pride of lions a Murder of crows an Exaltation of doves and, presumably…

call center…

We’ve all talked to this guy. At last, a picture of him! Ujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, “Ujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skills. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.” Ujibar…

My New Primary Care Physician–love him!! (you’ll want him too!!)  

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer?…

Robin Williams quotes…2

SEE, THE PROBLEM IS THAT GOD GIVES [GAVE] MEN A BRAIN AND A PENIS, AND ONLY ENOUGH BLOOD TO RUN ONE AT A TIME. What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong. We have a president for whom English is a second language. He’s like ‘We have to get rid of dictators,’…

Bill Cosby has done it again!

Bill Cosby’s rant against uneducated and apathetic Americans is forcing the country to reevaluate the lifestyles of lifetime welfare recipients. Cosby, who’s best known for his patriarchal role on “The Cosby Show,” is an outspoken Democrat. But over the past several years, Cosby has criticized President Obama for a range of “broken promises” and railed…