Yesterday, the workers and peasants marched and sang hymns to Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama at the celebration of his Second Inauguration as Supreme Head of State. During his address to the Party, B. B. Obama called on all political factions to end their opposition to his leadership so as to usher in a new era of the Dictatorship of the Proletariat.
Speaking directly to the Imperialistic, greedy, oppressive, counter-revolutionary Republican Capitalists, the President stated, “We cannot mistake absolutism for principle, or substitute spectacle for politics, or treat name-calling as reasoned debate.”
Comrade President Barack Barackovich outlined his objectives for the new Five-Year Plan, in which he promised many new initiatives designed to bring about universal equality and prosperity to the Masses. His remarks on Global Warming were so profound that the weather agreed to be 15 degrees colder than normal to suit the occasion.
Among his many promises, Comrade President Barack Barackovich promised that all children in the USSA must receive the same care and oversight as adults, and so there would be a new effort to Collectivize child-rearing in secured State facilities throughout the nation, so that, “all our children, from the streets of Detroit to the hills of Appalachia to the quiet lanes of Newtown, know that they are cared for, and cherished, and always safe from harm.”
Parents will soon receive notices to surrender their children at the nearest railway station for relocation to their nearest facility so that they can be properly protected and cared for by 24-hour armed guards.
The President also promised more equality for homosexual citizens than their present share, including a new effort to increase their numbers from 3.4% to roughly 15-20% of the USSA population through school programs designed to encourage more students to enter into ‘conversion therapy’ after engaging mandatory supervised sexual experimentation.
The President also remarked that, with the success of the Party’s pro-abortion and contraception campaigns, the birth rate in the USSA continues to fall. To supplant the decreased supply of peasants and workers, he proposed a new plan to import new peasants from Latin America, provided the Mexican government will agree to release more of them, given the shortfalls they have experienced in their own reproduction quotas.
The Party will soon announce new De-Kulakization programs through Debt Distributions and annexation of Kulak property. There will also be a new songbook of hymns to Comrade President Barack Barackovich based on the performance of the many loyal musicians and artists who entertained him during the festivities and have devoted themselves to Progressive agitation.
Citizens, welcome the New Era of Socialism in America! Agitate for Collectivization!
All heil Comrade President Barack Barackovich Obama!!!!!
All together now:
“Heil Obama, heil Obama, heil Obama!”
Adolf Hitler once said,
To conquer a nation, you must first disarm its citizens!