2014.12.13 are you absolutely sure-featured image

are you absolutely sure?

Why beer is better than a woman… 1. Beer is always wet. 2. Frigid beer is good beer. 3. Beer never gets a headache. 4. Beer always goes down easily. 5. You can share a beer with all your friends. 6. You don’t have to wine and dine beer. 7. You can enjoy beer every…

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2014.12.13 Wales-featured image

Wales

I was in a pub last night and saw three “women of size” (as PC now requires us to say) by the bar. They both spoke with a brogue accent, and making assumptions about their origins I asked, “Hello, are you ladies from IRELAND?” One of them angrily screamed, “It’s WALES you fu****g idiot, Wales!”…

Norma Findlay-featured image

Norma Findlay

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay,…

cowboy common sense-featured image

cowboy common sense…

A LITTLE COMMON SENSE FROM AN OLD COWBOY … Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.…

2014.07.09 wedding party - featured image

wedding party…

At a wedding party recently, someone yelled, “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.” The bartender was crushed to death…

2014.07.09 WD-40 - featured image

WD-40

Do you know what the main ingredient is in WD-40? Read to the end to find out. Who knew!!!! I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown…

2014.07.08 VOTED BEST PICK-UP LINE - featured image

VOTED BEST PICK-UP LINE…

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just…

07062014 speeding ticket - featured image

speeding ticket…

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Yes Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: You don’t have one? Woman: I’ve lost it four times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…then can I see your…

Student lying in grass reading

What in the world do you do ALL day?!?!?

A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around the garden. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog anywhere…

2014.06.06 just filling in...-featured image

Just Filling In…

A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor that was an atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked everyone by walking into class, looking up and stating “God, if you are real, I want you to come down and knock…

2014.05.09 Creating a Password - boiled cabbage - featured image

Creating a Password: boiled cabbage

CREATING A PASSWORD cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. boiledcabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case…

2014.04.30 what a hoot !!!- featured image

what a hoot!!!

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb…

2014.03.25 Who died before they collected Social Security - featured image

who died before they collected Social Security?

(author unknown) REPEAT? IF SO, PLEASE READ AGAIN… The reference to Social Security and Medicare as an entitlement is offensive to me. It is my employer and I who put the money into those forced government programs. I had no choice. Where does a scheme like that become an entitlement? This is such a misleading…